The Boomer Life
Mind your transitions
by Arnie Dyer
As far back as the ancient Greeks, societies have recognized that when people go through a period of transition, they find themselves “betwixt and between.” According to the anthropologist Arnold van Gennep, during this period people are no longer connected to a previous status but haven’t yet entered a new one. The Greeks referred to this state as liminality or being at the threshold, a time of ambiguity and uncertainty, as well as openness. Earlier cultures developed rites of passage to help support people as they moved through these points of transition.
Retirement includes a period of liminality, of ambiguity, but our culture hasn’t done much to recognize the state, let alone provide support. After the retirement party and the proverbial gold watch, people navigate the transition to retirement pretty much on their own. The result is that many find themselves caught between, having left but not having fully arrived.
About two years ago I retired from teaching high school English after more than 25 years in the classroom. The last 17 of those years, I had spent happily at Evergreen High School as a teacher and an academic coach. My routine was fixed. The alarm went off every weekday at 5:50 a.m., I got ready for school, had a quick bowl of cereal while reading the sports page and the comics (with a glance at the news headlines), and I was out the door by 6:25. My routine was so well established that I usually woke up at the same time even on weekends.
Until about five years before I retired, I had a loose plan for retirement. My wife Mary was an elementary school counselor. We had just finished helping our children through college, and we were looking forward to taking some of the trips we had deferred, working on projects around the house, and spending time with our kids and grandkids.
Then Mary was diagnosed with Young Onset Alzheimer’s. For the next five years her care became our only real priority. When she died, I lost some of my enthusiasm for work and decided to retire at age 62.
My plan was to work, probably half-time, in some capacity with the school district. Unfortunately, I discovered that the rules of my retirement plan would not allow me to work for the school district and still draw a pension, so I had to revise my thinking.
That summer, I happened to meet a friend who had just retired from teaching at Mt. Hood Community College, and he put me in touch with the English department. I was lucky enough to be hired to teach part-time there in the fall.
That should have provided me with just the transition I needed, right? Actually it did on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, the days I taught. But then there were Tuesday and Thursday. Without my familiar routine and role, I was anxious, at sea.
I set about to fill those days with a combination of work and volunteering. I barely had a free hour during the week, but because my schedule was irregular, I felt the need to fill every morning or afternoon with some activity outside the house. A good friend teased me that I had 20 jobs. Even so, being at home on a “work day” felt uncomfortable. I was betwixt and between.
With millions of Boomers moving into retirement, we need to create maps to help them make the transition into a fully realized life in retirement.
If you are interested in charting a new course, join us for coffee and conversation. Contact Arnie Dyer at dyerarnold379 @gmail.com
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